brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
