I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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