Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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