the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You ruined the universe
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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