from now on my penis is your penis
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize