i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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