just come out here and I will go home with you...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
