nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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