omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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