i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
