I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
