after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
