You work out of a Hotel?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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