Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
