This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
honey bunches of taint.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
