Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
