And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
