what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
