I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
