I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
