I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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