Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize