Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
