No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I want to fling myself into the sun
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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