either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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