Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
