your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
