Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
