We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Naked Twister starts at high noon
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize