how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
