my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize