somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
