I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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