U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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