If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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