it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
