dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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