I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
