Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
