I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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