My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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