i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
