he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
