Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
home. puking in laundry basket.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
