you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
