if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
