Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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