ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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