The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
