I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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