what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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