Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
