The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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