i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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