He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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