every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
