she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
