I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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