yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
