peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
