You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
