i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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