All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
